This week on Topic Tuesday we're sharing what we learned. It could be any lesson from any time or experience. I've learned I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of my own mortality. It isn't death which is frightening. It is in the act of dying where there is fear.
On September 29th, I spent approximately 13 1/2 hours in the emergency room in respiratory distress. That's a story on its on and if you're really interested, you can read about it here.
I spent about 7 of those 13 1/2 hours with no medication beyond oxygen. (I'd already received the highest doses of medication I could be given.) I experienced what I feel was an epiphany. As I sat on a hard, plastic chair in the ER, I realized everything I was experiencing was exactly what it would feel like to die. I can't tell you how I knew it. I can't tell you why I knew it. I can only tell you I experienced the proverbial light switch turning on, and I KNEW this is what dying feels like.
I realized as I sat there fighting for my next breath if I stopped, if I allowed the panic and fear to take me, I would die. I was not ready. I am not ready. Once again, my children saved my life. My children are the reason I fought for my life that day.
So, my lesson learned is twofold. One, dying is where the fear lay not in death, and two, I'm not ready to die. I have a purpose, and a reason to be.
To check out the other posts on our Topic Tuesday, you can go to Jeff Adkins wonderful website.
Until next time,
Peace up!
I learned last week to not trust someone who is new in my life and may not be what they appear.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a very long time since I really trusted anyone with my authentic self, but this person just brought the words and feelings right out of me. I've since found out that the individual may not be as sincere as they presented themself to be.
I am glad I talked about things long thought healed, but hurt by the betrayal. It will again be a long time until I truly trust.
*HUGE HUGS* That is a hell of a lesson to learn. Some people have the charismatic personality to bring forth things we would not otherwise share. I'm sorry you were hurt by someone for their own selfish purposes, no matter what they were.
Deletethanks for sharing that. yes, quite an ephiphany
ReplyDeleteIt truly was, and one I have no desire to revisit any time soon.
ReplyDeleteI realize it sounds cliche, perhaps, but I would be hanging on for my husband. I don't know who'd clean up after him, find his keys, find his wallet, make his tea or buy his cannollis. I do these things because I love him that much and I wouldn't want anyone else to take over those tasks.
ReplyDeleteLol. Thank god you love Pookie. I love Pumpkin, but it's not like I love my kids. I guess I've always felt like I could be replaced. He will get over losing me. My kids, not so much.
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