My Top Five Tips On...

So, this last week our fearless dictator, er, leader decided our post for this week would be our top five tips on WHATEVER. Should be simple, huh? I mean we all have advice about something, right? Yeah. I'm sure that's why it's taken me until THIS VERY MOMENT to come up with something.

So, without further wallowing, I give you my Top Five Tips On...

Going to New Orleans with ME!

1.  DO NOT BRING A PURSE OR BAG!--seriously, I'm in no mood to a) get in a fight with some street urchin to try to get your things back (i.e.--your money, your wallet, your credit cards, your whatever.) and b) I like to avoid any and all contact with the NOPD. (some of them people are worse than the crooks and I've no desire to stay in booking until I can see a judge. No Thank You!)


2.  Park in Bella Luna.--if I drive, this is not a worry. We will be parking there, every time. If you drive, I'll nag you until you park where I told you, so it works out.

3.  Be prepared to walk.--MY parking lot is in the middle of everything. So, we will be doing a fair amount of walking. This means do not...let me repeat that...DO NOT wear high heels, or flip flops, or anything else that will cause blisters, or whining, or will be lost. The last thing you want is to be barefooted in the Quarter. You have NO idea what's on those streets or sidewalks, but I bet if you try really hard, you can guess.  *shudders* Gross!

4.  Be ready to dance!--we will most definitely end up in the Bourbon Pub at some point. Love this bar, but you better not be claustrophobic or haphephobic because it has very limited space around the bars, and you will be extremely intimate with everyone in the place before you leave. Right, Mo-Mo? LOL

5.  Bring money!--you will need money, of course, because we will go eat, and have drinks, but more importantly, we will be going to my friends' shop. The Bourbon Pride is ALWAYS on my list of things to do. If I'm in the Quarter, I'm going to visit Josh Duffy and Joseph Hart. I love these two. HARD! The shop is a great place. There are pictures of the shop, inside and out, on my Facebook page. Josh is a doll and Joseph is a sweetheart. Between them, Danny Johns, and Patti Logan, I'm surprised I have any money at all...Oh, wait! I'm broke!  Never mind. 

So that's my top five tips. Maybe next time, I'll clue you in on where to eat. Or maybe not. Some of my favorite places are getting overrun by people who watch the Food Network. I haven't had a decent oyster since the season started. (Dammit!)

Be sure to check out the top five tips from  J.P. Barnaby, Jeff Adkins, Joelle Casteel, Monique Thompson, and Patricia Logan (if she remembers, or if Jeffiekins yells and screams enough.LOL)

#TAGYOURIT We're blog hopping!!

Hello, I was invited by an author friend, Jeff Adkins, to participate in a “blog hop interview.” In order to participate, I answer interview questions, and I tag three other author’s. They post interview questions on their blog pages. The folks they tag, will post their interview questions and answers on their blogs, and so forth. A lot of hopping!

You can find Jeff’s interview questions and answers here.

Jeff posted Sept. 16, 2013.

Here are my interview questions and answers:

1.  What are you working on right now?

Right now, I'm working on a story for my friend, Lis Craig. The idea came about many months ago while we were discussing character types we liked and disliked. She wanted a story about an older man who realizes he's attracted to a man some twenty years his junior, and the internal struggle the older man faces because of the age difference and the attraction.


2.  How does it differ from other works in its genre?

Wow. That's tough. I, personally, don't know that it does. There have been stories done about age differences and the struggles those differences create. The only thing I can say is you haven't met Will and Grant yet. Lol


3.  Why do you write what you do?

I love writing. I've been doing it in some form or fashion since junior high. A few years ago, I was introduced to the wonderful world of M/M erotica by my friend, DeWanda Bolden. After reading several stories in the genre, I had a need to write about men loving men. I've never looked back. I think there is something so beautiful about two (or more) men finding love, happiness and most of all themselves.


4.  How does your writing process work?

I'm like Jeff Adkins--it works slowly! LOL  I can hit periods where the characters are talking and everything is moving along smoothly and then it just stops. Dead in the water with no hope of getting it going again. Drives me nuts! (And currently, it's not making Lis too happy either. Lol)

Thanks to my graphic art and design guru, and fellow author, Jeff Adkins, for the chance to *hop*.

My tagged authors are:
CR Guiliano
Princess SO


(I know. I know. I was supposed to have a third person, but I messed up. I have to give a giant THANK YOU to both of these ladies for coming to my rescue and saving my butt. Thanks, Prin and Carah, from the bottom of my heart.)


*UPDATE*  I've been saved!!  My adopted brother, Phoenix Hell, has agreed to hop, too.  *bounces* Yay! Yay! Yay!  His contribution can be found next Monday here.

Thanks again to everybody who saved my butt today, and to Jeff for asking me to join in.

Theme Song? I can haz theme song?

It's Topic Tuesday once again, and this week my friend and fellow loon, Jeff Adkins, has suggested What would be your theme song? as our topic for today. Now this becomes a bit of a mess from where I'm standing. "Why?" you may ask. Well, mainly because I haven't a clue as to what my theme song may be, much less what it is.

Not a clue. I've listened to songs half the morning, all day yesterday, and I still got nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing. Does this mean I'm not theme song worthy? Do I just not recognize mine? Am I over thinking this? The answer is probably "Yes." Pick a question. This answer is probably right no matter which you ask.

I went so far as to ask my oldest child what my theme song would be. Her reply? Hmm...good question. Yes, this helped mommy sooo much. So, I'm back to square one...What the hell is my theme song?

There are tons of songs I love. Tons of songs I can listen to over and over again. (Repeat 1 was crafted solely with me in mind. True story.) But none of this helps with the issue at hand.

What would be my theme song? What song would sum me up? Or should it be what song helps me to remember I'm worthy and worthwhile? What song motivates me to be the best I can be?

I think if the question is posed as one of the last two questions, then my answer is easy: Little Bird by Annie Lennox. The song is beautiful. The words inspiring and a reminder we are not alone on this journey of life.

Annie Lennox Little Bird video*

We all have self-doubts, but we, also, all have dreams and aspirations.  The question is what do we do about it. Do we wring our hands and wish for something better, or do we find the courage and the strength to make it happen?

As for my theme song? I'm still trying to figure that one out. Maybe I'll find one. Maybe I won't. But I think as long as I remember this one, I may be able to find the strength and courage to be all I can.


*writer's note:  Little Bird is the copyrighted property of Annie Lennox.

Torn--Thoughts on Suicide Prevention Week

This week is Suicide Prevention week. I've seen the posts on Facebook. The ribbons, and support, but I hadn't actually paid any attention to them. It's important. I agree. But at the same time, I'm torn. 

Let me explain. I have been--still am, if I'm gonna be honest--a person who experiences serious bouts of depression. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression in about 2001/2002. I've taken Paxil, Zoloft, and several other medications in an attempt to control it. 

The only one to successfully do the job is Zoloft. I've left it; I've come back to it. I've taken meds that caused nausea, and sleeplessness, and worsened my depression. I've suffered and battled long enough now to recognize when the depression is starting to be in control. 

In this time, and the time before I knew what was wrong, I would become suicidal. Everything was bleak. My life held no joy. Nothing made me happy. Not my children, not my husband, not friends and family. I would get out of bed to work and use the bathroom. I cared nothing about eating or whether anyone else in my house ate. 

Depression was an evil bitch and she was in charge. 

During these times, when I was conscious and aware--I slept as often as possible--my thoughts centered around everything I viewed as hopeless. My writing ability. My stress-filled job. My marriage. My parenting ability. Nothing was sacred. 

I could find no reason to stay. I didn't want to find one. I was confident I'd reached the end of my rope, and with any luck, I'd figure out how to tie a noose. 

Usually, when I reached this point, the thought of my children without a mother brought me back from the ledge. They worked like nothing else could for years. One of the last times I experienced a bad bout, my kids didn't work. I would still be making them motherless, but it wasn't important enough to penetrate the dark abyss in which I found myself. 

Fear kept me from stepping off the ledge. Fear kept me in check. I felt chained. I didn't want to be here anymore, but I KNEW if I tried, I'd mess it up, and be worse off than I had been when I started out. 

I look back on those times, and I'm thankful I feared messing it up. I'm not sure where this life will lead me, but I'm in for the ride.

Now, on to my reason for being torn. I don't believe someone who commits suicide will be sent to Hell. I'm not going to race out and try to save souls. I understand the person who thinks of suicide. I've stood in those shoes, and thought "I can make this stop. I can end it."

I believe a person has the right to decide how and why they leave this life. I believe it the same way I believe a woman has the right to make decisions about and choices regarding her own body. The same way I believe every person is entitled to an opinion. 

Now, I'm torn because the thought of children making such a final decision bothers me. It breaks my  heart to know someone who hasn't had a chance to live never will. They will never discover what it's like to love and be loved, to be in charge of your own destiny, to be free. 

I honestly think everyone has the right to decide for themselves what is right for them, but the thought of a child making this kind of decision makes me want to say they need to be stopped. We need to find a way to keep this from happening. 

And there, my friends, is the root of my dilemma. I'm in favor of doing whatever it takes to keep kids from committing suicide, but it goes totally against my "everyone has a right" attitude. 

It is blackest inside a depression, light absorbed before it can illuminate anything. I've seen it. Been intimate with it. Observed it from the outside. Watched friends and family fight against the oppression. I've also seen victory against thoughts of suicide. I've lived it, and lived though it.

It does get better. You can overcome it, and face it from the other side of the chasm. The world is a better place with you in it. Never forget that. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, there is help:
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now or call them at 866-488-7386.
http://www.suicidehotlines.com/ or call them at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or call them at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
 

There are other places to get help. Go online or call the operator. Remember, the world wouldn't be as bright without you in it. 

There is hope.

Below are a list of my friends who had something to say about Suicide Prevention Week:  Jamie Mayfield, MoMo, Patricia Logan, and Jeff Adkins.